You might remember from my last tips and advice “Finding Her Erogenous Zones”, that I firmly believe that a woman’s biggest erogenous zone is between her ears! I think that this is one of the most important things to know in your journey to get better in bed, so I’ll start on it today and talk a bit about creative sex…

Creative Sex, the menu of your life

How Much Variety Do You Have In Your Sex Life?

Be honest: when you make love, is it always very similar? Do you just have two or three things that you do?

For most people, the answer is “yes”.

I find myself guilty of it sometimes too. We get stuck in a rut. Work is stressful. The Kids take all our time and energy. We didn’t get enough sleep. Whatever the reason, we don’t take the time that we should invest in our relationship and our sex lives.

They say that variety is the spice of life. In your sex life, it is certainly true! Imagine for a moment, that you had the same meal every day. After a while, you would lose interest in eating, right? No matter how good the meal was, after a while it just gets boring.

Your woman is going to feel the same way if you present her with the same options for sex every night. She is going to lose interest in having sex with you.

Introduce Some Creative Sex Into Your Love Life

The solution is quite simple: introduce some creativity into your sex life.


OK, OK. Perhaps it’s not quite that simple. After all, just how many positions out of the Karma Sutra are you both fit enough to try? (And how many do you really want to attempt…?)

There may be only a limited number of ways to physically have sex – but there is an infinite number of ways to excite your woman’s mind.

This is where the woman’s biggest erogenous zone – her mind – comes to aid us. Instead of trying solely to excite her body, we want to excite her mind. If her mind is begging for sex, then her body is going to be turned on as well.

Karma Sutra Carving

What Can You Do to Create Variety in Your Love Life?

Mostly, that depends on you and your woman. What kind of fantasies do you both have? Of those fantasies, what would you like to make real?

There are so many fantasies that you can make real if you want to. Here are some creative sex ideas to get you started:

I’m sure that you can think of many more or many variations on these ideas. I’ll go into some of these in more detail another week.

For now, it is important to get your creative ideas flowing…

Some Basics About Sexual Role Play:

  1. Talk to your woman
  2. Set hard limits and a safe word
  3. Bring a sense of fun and humor to the experience
  4. Talk to your woman about it afterwards

Some Basics About Sexual Role Play:

To get some real fun and enjoyment out of sexual role play, you need to set up some ground rules.

  1. Talk to your woman

Before you start doing some really extensive planning, talk to your woman first to see if the idea captures her imagination and she is willing to try it together with you. You don’t want to put a lot of time, effort, and money into planning something that excites you only to find out that your woman is left completely cold by the idea.

My experience has been, that just planning an event like this together is a great sexual turn-on for both partners.

  1. Set hard limits and a safe word

If there is something that either your woman (or indeed, you) are not willing to try, just accept it and look for an alternative.

Pushing your woman into something that makes her unhappy is not going to lead to better sex for either of you.

Agree on a safe word. (I recommend “mayday” if you have no other ideas.) If either of you says it, then all role play stops immediately. No discussion or complaints.

This is particularly important if you are doing any kind of role-play where your woman could be expected to say something like “Stop” or “Help” as part of her role.

  1. Bring a sense of fun and humor to the experience

These kinds of role-plays live from the spontaneous reactions that you both have to the scene that you create together.

You do not want to have a set of lines to learn. You want to get to learn new things about each other. So, try to keep it light-hearted and fun.

It has been my experience that role plays or scenes never go quite as you planned them. Don’t let yourself be disappointed because x did not go exactly as planned. Just go with the flow. You will enjoy it more.

  1. Talk to your woman about it afterwards

Get your woman’s feedback on what she enjoyed, what she didn’t like, and if she has anything that she would like to try next time.

You do not want to create a complete scene or role play every time that you make love. That comfortable feeling of holding your woman and enjoying being together is not something that you want to lose.

But, trying to make a habit out of setting up a “creative sex” event every month or every quarter, where you both take time to enjoy something special together will help you to get that better sex life that you are looking for…

I look forward to speaking with you next week.

Have fun!